Big Mistakes, Bigger God

I woke up this morning from a dream that kept me in the pit of despair for quite some time this morning. It reminded me of a really big mistake from my past, and I wallowed in it for much longer than I should have. It's not something I can easily correct, nor even really want to, because attempting to fix it would mean making an even bigger mistake - one that I'm not willing to live with. I know others have been where I am - friends have assured me of that on Facebook, forums, and through private messages. What they also reminded me of, is that God is bigger than that big mistake. Much bigger. And He can take my big mistake and make it into something beautiful, if I'll only let Him. I'm trying, I really am. It's been several years since I made this mistake, and while it has gotten easier over time, I have days like today where I just wish things were different. I wish I could have said and done things differently, but would they have made things better? Probably not. Most likely my problems would have been 10 times worse (no exaggerating, I promise).

My friend Dana showed me a music video by Toby Mac, "Get Back Up," and it was most timely. It did bring me back up and gave me hope that I can get through this once again. Again, I thank her for sharing that video. I hope it gives you hope, as well.

"I waited patiently for the LORD;
He turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
He set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear
and put their trust in the LORD." ~Psalm 40:1-3

Lord, You know which mistake I speak of. And yet You keep no record of wrongs. Help me to look to You through this time of trial and temptation, and keep me strong. For You are stronger and bigger than all my mistakes. You are my God, and I will exalt You. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Reflections on God's Love in a Marriage

‎"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." ~ 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a

I am reflecting on this today, and through the 12 years I have known and loved Matt, we both have gotten better and better at showing God's kind of love. But we have a long way to go. It is a long, hard journey, marriage is. But even though it's a lot of work, and you constantly have to keep on it or it will melt away, it is SO worth it. The love Matt and I have is so incredible, I stand in awe of it whenever I reflect on it. God has held our hands through so much, and I don't know where we'd be if we hadn't held onto God for dear life. It's been quite the ride, and I know the ride isn't over yet. We were joined together by God, and let no one break us apart. We have had those tough times where we didn't know if we'd make it, but we focused on God, and He brought us through, safe and sound, and loving each other even more. When you first get married, you think you could never possibly love that person more than you do at that time. But it's not true. Your love matures and grows. The day you marry, your love is just a baby. As you grow together through the years, your love grows up and becomes an adult, just like your faith grows and matures. Satan will try his darndest to break you up, and he will if you let him. Never take your eyes off Jesus. He will be the third strand to keep you tied together through anything. I encourage all married couples to reflect on this passage daily and to tell each other every day how much you truly love and appreciate the other. Your soulmate completes you, and every marriage is a match made in heaven, even though sometimes you can't see that and think it was a mistake. Don't throw it away just because you're going through a rough time. Once you persevere through that tough time and tell Satan to get behind you and run to Jesus' open arms, your love will have grown so much that you will be overwhelmed with love for your spouse. Protect yourself from that evil, whether it be other people, things that get a more important status than your spouse, or whatever else it may be. Those evils that Satan puts in front of your nose and dangles at you mean certain death, to your soul and to your marriage and love.

Dear Jesus, please protect all married couples today and always. Show them that when You come first, their marriage will be stronger and more complete. Help them to love each other more and to emulate Your love, as You show us in this passage. Guide them to Your loving arms, and help them to reach out to You in hard times and in times of temptation. In loving gratitude to You for Your ultimate sacrifice for us, Amen.