Glory to Ukraine - A Tribute to the People of a Nation I Love with All My Heart

 GLORY TO UKRAINE

To all Ukrainians fighting

For Serge who gave his all

        Not only for his country

        But for every child he fought for

                Every child that found his way to a loving family

                Every child who needed love

                        And a mama and a papa

To my friends – fighting, trapped

        Hungry, cold, broken

                But fierce

                        Strong

                                Brave

We stand with you

If our governments do nothing

        We stand with you

If the attacks grow worse and desperate

        We stand with you

With pride of your country

        Your land

                Your strength

                        Your endurance

                                Your beauty

                                        Your grace

We stand with you

May you win this fight

May you win this war

May you triumph over evil

        But most of all

May you turn your hearts to God

May you rest easy in the peace of Christ

May you strengthen your faith

        In Him who sets you free

        In Him who sees your hurt

        In Him who knows your pain

                Your suffering

                Your agony

May you rest in the arms of Jesus

Even as you do hard things

We stand with you

And our prayers are with you

Слава Україні!

Glory to Ukraine!

It's Beginning to Look a lot Like Homeschool - A Parody

In the midst of cleaning and organizing our poor dining room (which doubles as the homeschool room), I began humming a tune in my head (as per usual), and pretty soon "It's Beginning to Look a lot Like Christmas" tumbled out (because I'm in the Christmas spirit already, apparently).  And since I was in the middle of organizing homeschool books 'n' things - well, here's what I ended up with.  Just you try not to sing it.  LOL

Enjoy!

It's Beginning to Look a lot Like Homeschool
    A Parody
        by Me

It’s beginning to look a lot like homeschool
Everywhere you go.
Take a look in the dining room;
Workbooks and pencils, too,
With books and timers, computers aglow.

It’s beginning to look a lot like homeschool -
Toys in every room.
But the prettiest sight to see
Is the whiteboard that will be
In the dining room.

A game that teaches you math
And the textbook of wrath
Are the bane of Lizzy and Drew.

Penmanship, grammar,
And studies of war
Are the woe of Abby and Ruth.

And Mom and Dad can hardly wait for school to start again.

It’s beginning to look a lot like homeschool
Everywhere you go.
There’s a clock on the dining wall,
One in the hall, as well -
The sturdy kind that make you think to know.

It’s beginning to look a lot like homeschool.
Soon the fun will start!
And the coziness of the home
Is the way the learning comes
Right within our hearts!

My 2020 Goals

Happy New Year!!!

I am not one to make resolutions very often.  And when I do? Well, I don't follow through too well.  I suppose I'm like a lot of people who attempt New Years' resolutions.

Despite my less-than-stellar track record, I really wanted to make some sort of resolution. So Instead of trying to “change myself,” I made concrete goals that I’d like to accomplish this year. I managed to come up with 12 goals for this year, 4 each in 3 categories.  They're not arbitrary ("I want to work out more" or "I want to read more").  They're specific, realistic (I hope), and measurable. I need myself to be held accountable with a way to daily gauge my progress.

So without further ado, here they are!

Writing Goals

Though I’ve always written a little here and there through the years, I am actually quite new to the writing world. Poetry, stories - some I’ve deleted into oblivion forever, some remain tucked away either in notebooks or on a hard drive somewhere - most unfinished, unrefined, unedited, unpolished. This past November’s foray into NaNoWriMo propelled me into a writer again and gave me the drive to get something published. Publishing has always been a dream of mine – anything – to have my name on a book. Poetry or novel, fiction or non-fiction – I don’t care. So to that end, here are my 2020 Writing Goals:

1. Write at least 200 words every day. This is part of the Bestseller Experiment Challenge I signed up for. I like challenges, apparently.
2. Finish revisions & edits on my NaNo story. This would get it ready to publish, IF I can publish it at all. Since it’s fan fiction, it’s not always possible to publish, depending on the legalities of the original publication terms. Even if not, I can still self-publish a few copies for immediate family and friends, or some people publish a chapter a week/month on their blogs/websites. Lots of possibilities for this book!
3. Finish the first draft of my other Work in Progress (WIP). This one I’ve been slowly working on for 3 years now. I keep editing and changing the story as I write. Apparently I work better under pressure, so this one will get the NaNo treatment soon. Maybe an April or July NaNo camp option?
4. Win NaNoWriMo in November (again!). And yes, I already have the idea in my head. I just need to research for it before November rolls around.

Home/Life Goals

Of course, a new year with new goals wouldn’t be complete without something to accomplish in my life or my home. There’s always something to improve upon, but I didn’t want to force something on myself that I didn’t truly believe in doing. And sometimes, simple is better.

1. Finish setting up the house from the move. You’d think after 7 months that I’d have this done. Well, it’s somewhat done, but things are here and there and up and down, and I haven’t even begun to put together the play and art areas downstairs. The kids just basically ransack that area. Ha! So finding homes for the rest of our things, or donating/trashing what we don’t want/need, is on my list this year. It won’t be perfect (ever), but at least I will feel like it’s ready to be lived in properly and not still “living out of boxes.” Which we aren’t anymore, just to be clear, but sometimes it still feels like it.
2. Read 3 fiction books per month. Yeah, this should be easy. :) But I wanted to be sure it was easy to meet my goal. Life happens, as we all know, but 3 means I could read 3 super short ones in a busier month or 2 short and 1 really long novel, or whatever. Right now I’m almost done with North & South by Elizabeth Gaskell. Great classic novel, by the way!
3. Read 1 non-fiction book per month. Why only 1? Usually my non-fiction books are deep and/or a lot of information. I can only handle so much of that at one time, so I read non-fiction a lot more slowly than fiction. I also tend to take a lot of notes while I read non-fiction.
4. Have a family devotion at supper every day. We aren’t the most consistent people on the planet. :) We started to work on this throughout 2019, but we need to get better into the habit. It would also help if we had supper at a regular time every night. Yeah….

School Goals

Since homeschooling is my life, of course I need goals for that, as well. I’ve decided to make these even simpler since, again, I’m not the most consistent person in the world. But my kids deserve to have Mom on top of her game to lead and teach and train them, right? Right. Not to mention, I have a few in public school, and as their school is closing after this fall, we are also researching various plans for all of the kids, whether that be homeschool, public school, private school, online school, charter school, co-ops, or something else. Let me tell you, there are so many options out there nowadays, no one should ever have an excuse to just let their kid fail to thrive in any setting. But I digress. These goals will pertain to only those homeschooling at any time in 2020. Although if I do some in the evenings, then everyone would get the benefit. I just know myself better than that. Consistency, remember?

1. Have a Plan; Stick to the Plan. I tend to knee-jerk react sometimes. I also tend to worry and fret and basically act like a pinball machine. So I’m going to make a plan and STICK TO THE PLAN. No matter what. Unless it really does need to be changed, in which case I will consult my hubby and close friends and a hive mind before I change anything. See? Accountability!
2. Read aloud 1 picture book per day. I’m not a read-aloud person. I wish I were. I have always tried to be, but I’m just not. Why, I do not know. I’ve started digging into that a little bit this past year or so, but I’m not ready to say why with confidence. Also, consistency is not my forte. Despite my aversion to reading aloud, all of my kids LOVE books. Woot! Win for the book-lover!
3. Read aloud 1 chapter of a fiction book per day. Yeah, I really want to try to read aloud more.
4. Read aloud 1 chapter of a non-fiction book per day. For consistency, of course. ;)

So there you have it. My goals for the year 2020!

Now how will hold myself accountable? I’m working on some planner pages to keep up with my goals daily. I’m building my goals into my daily routine. I write between 7 & 8am, for example. The kids wake up on their own and don’t need me to get after them to hurry up until about 8am. I printed out my goal list, which I will hang on the wall by my desk after my toes heal. I broke two the day after Christmas. Fun times around here! And never a dull moment. These goals will be in my face, reminding me and haunting me to keep me on top of things. Well, hopefully not haunting….

And if I fail? Well, it happens. I won’t beat myself up over it. Wife and mother always come first, and all these 2020 goals are second to any of that.

May the year 2020 be a great year for all of us! May God bless us all in this exciting new decade!

Lessons from NaNoWriMo 2019

I participated in National Novel Writing Month, or NaNoWriMo, for the first time this year.  I've been thinking about it for the past several years, but this year I took on the challenge with a vengeance.  The challenge of NaNoWriMo: write at least 50,000 words of a novel in the month of November.  I thought for sure I would never be able to do it.  I mean, that's a huge amount of words!

Turns out, I could do it!  And did it, I did!  All the way to 83,333 words!

I finished my novel in 30 days.

Oh, there were days when I wanted to give up.  Days when I thought, "This is the worst story ever."  "Why on earth did I start this stupid thing???"  "This sounds terrible!"  "I am the worst writer in the history of the universe!"

But then there were days when I wrote 6,000, 7,000, even 9,000+ words in one day!  Those were the days when I felt excited, elated, over the moon.  Those were the days when I loved my story.  My creation.  My baby.  My characters are my children, and believe me - they have minds of their own and changed my plot line on several occasions!  (Not gonna lie - I've had words with my characters a number of times.  "What on earth are you people doing???  This is NOT the way this was supposed to go!  Are you going to let me in on what it is you think you're up to???")

This experience carried with it a roller coaster of emotions.  Elation, deflation.  Happiness, sadness, anger.  Hurt and frustration, excitement and defeat.  Suspense and anxiety, worry, nerves frayed.  I dreamed my story, lived in it, felt it.  I dealt with kids who couldn't get along, lack of routine, frustration from my husband who just wanted me to get back to being Mom and Wife instead of Writer, got behind on planning for Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Through it all, I stuck with my goal.

And I love my story!

Oh, trust me, it sucks right now.  LOL  I used "said" too often, and "very," and a whole bunch of other words and phrases because I got stuck in a rut as I was trying to get the story out as fast as I could.  Descriptions are sorely lacking.  Conversations sound forced and uninteresting.

But I'm on the revising and editing stage, Round One.  And I know I'll make it better and better and better, until it's perfect.

You know what this whole NaNoWriMo challenge taught me?

I can write a pretty good story.  All this time I thought I wasn't very good at writing, at crafting, at creating.  But I actually am.

This isn't to brag.  My eldest daughter said to me a couple of years ago, "You actually are a really good writer, Mom."  She'd read the opening scene of a story I'd been working on and was sucked into the story.  She's impatiently waiting for me to finish that one.  My mom and husband and kids also love my poetry.

It's also taught me that I can indeed focus on one project at a time.  Normally I flit from one thing to another, never really finishing anything.  But this story?  Oh, was I ever focused!  And still am!

I'll get back to that other story soon.  She still asks about it occasionally.

First, though, I have to finish 

my NaNo project.

I'm a Special Needs Mom

I never realized I was a special needs mom until a year after our first adoption.

It had never occurred to me that our new kidlets were special needs. When I realized one day that they were struggling academically, and moreover, that they had trauma, it hit me like a ton of bricks.

An Aha Moment: they were special needs kids.

Another ton of bricks hit me when I opened my eyes to see that our bio son, now diagnosed as gifted with ADHD (referred to as 2e), is also a special needs kiddo, just on another end of a spectrum.

Whammy number three came when we finally discovered our bio daughter has autism – and were proved correct through formal testing and diagnosis.

Then we adopted 3 supposedly healthy, normal kids. Wrong! Huge special needs issues going on there, both behaviorally and academically.

In the past year we realized our oldest bio daughter is also 2e: gifted and dyslexic.

Another bio son is likely gifted, as well (he’s just like his older brother).

That leaves one bio daughter without any diagnoses at this time, though I do suspect something at play. We’ll likely get a neuropsych eval for her sometime next year.

For those keeping score, that is 9 out of 10 kids with various special needs, all added and/or diagnosed within 4 years.

To say we were thrown for a loop is a major understatement.

We’ve learned so much along this journey, and yet we are far from knowing it all, far from figuring out how to help them all. We’ve learned strategies, we’ve learned burn out, we’ve learned survival and thriving. We’ve attempted some strategies only to find they either weren’t working, required too much time commitment or money, or just didn’t feel right to us. What worked for 1 or 2 kids didn’t necessarily work for the rest, or vice versa. We’ve had ups and downs, bumps and bruises, sunshine and clouds, rain and rainbows, mountains and valleys.

But through it all, we are a family. And God’s love binds us, holds us, forgives us, strengthens us, molds us, leads us. As a family.

And that’s what being a special needs family is all about – leaning on God through each and every day, one day at a time, good or bad. 

God’s got this. 

God’s got you.

Things I've Learned as a Homeschooler

I've been homeschooling a long time now.  My oldest is in 9th grade this year, and we started her Kindergarten year.  So this is Year 10 for me, with many years left as my current youngest is just about 3.

As I've reflected over the past many years, I realized that I have learned many things as we've gone along.  I thought I'd share some of them with you.

1. I'm not into reading aloud.
   
   I'm just not.  Nothing wrong with doing it, and I often wish I were more of a read-aloud type person, but I'm not.  I do it sometimes during our Morning Basket, and I really love doing bedtime stories (picture books) with the kids, but overall, I just don't like reading out loud.
   
   Before you worry, all 7 of my children are bookworms, so it has no effect on what or how often or how much they're reading.
   
   But not all families can be read-aloud families.  And I'm not one of them.  I still feel bad about that sometimes, but it's why I don't join Sarah Mackenzie's Read-Aloud Revival, for example.  It's just one more thing on my plate - for me to feel bad that I can't implement properly.  So I just know this about myself, and I choose not to join in the fun, because it wouldn't be fun for me.
2. I'm not a scheduler.
   
   I tried.  I tried so hard.  For years.  And I failed every time.  Or I felt so stuffed in, or we felt stressed and anxious all the time, and I had timers going off all the time (OK, so I still have the alarms going on my phone all day long because Mom Brain).  All my life I've been a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants sort of person.  Type B.  And I thought all homeschoolers had to be Type A, especially as I had more and more kids schooling.  It got to the point, though, that I was never, ever going to get everything done.  Ever.  And I almost had a nervous breakdown over it.
   
   So we scrapped everything and unschooled for months.  Well over a year, actually.  Wow.  That felt good.
   
   I'm starting to get my bearings again, and I'm learning that if I'm going to attempt a schedule again, it has to be on a loop, it has to have ultimate flexibility, and I can't feel locked into it.  It has to be as open-and-go as possible, even if I have to take the time to make it that way.  My "schedule" nowadays consists of a start time for Morning Basket (or around thereabouts), lunch at noon, getting kids to and from activities or jobs, and clean-up & chores at 5pm.  That's it.  I am so happy with a routine.  I get up somewhere between 6 & 7am, but it's not consistent, and sometimes it'll be later than 7am if the toddler lets me sleep.  :)
3. I hate math.
   
   No, actually, I always loved it all through my school years.  I took geometry (bane of my existence!!!!), trigonometry, and calculus in high school.  I took calculus again in college - twice - the 2nd time because I needed some credits and my fiance (now hubby) had to take it.  LOL  Yeah, I'm kind of a glutten for punishment like that.  But I liked math!  A lot!
   
   And then I had kids I had to teach.  And I didn't know how.  Apparently, I'm just good at memorizing formulas.  I have tried so. many. math programs.  I'd like to kick math to the curb and never see it again.  They can learn their own stinkin' math.  Grrrr....  (I do get independent-of-me programs now for them.  It just drives me nuts.  I can help them with individual things they aren't getting, but I don't want to teach it ALL to ALL of them.)
4. There is nothing worse than feeling like you're failing your kids.
   
   Like in math.  Or writing.  Or reading.  Or social studies, history, science, art, music, or whatever other stinking subject there is out there.  Literally, all eyes are on you.  And if your kids fail, or aren't as good as other children their age, or aren't meeting some arbitrary stranger's measuring stick - you have failed in the eyes of the world.  Sometimes even in the eyes of your own husband.
   
   That's a heavy weight to bear.
   
   The truth is, most of us homeschooling moms already know our limitations and failings.  We don't need to hear, "I told you so," "Why did you even try to homeschool at all," or "Why don't you just send them to school?"  We need encouragement, we need someone to come alongside us and help us, we need support.  We already know, OK?  So please don't kick us while we're down.
5. No two families are the same.
   
   They don't look the same, they don't act the same, they don't talk the same, they don't eat the same - so why would they all educate the same way?  Of course they can't!  Each family is unique.  Each child within each family is unique.  You cannot do the same things with every single child and every single family and have them all turn out exactly the same.  This is a huge reason I strongly dislike the traditional school building model (though yes, it can work for some).
   
   And to be true to that idea, I needed to learn that we can't all be Charlotte Mason homeschoolers.  Just like I can't teach in a classical way, or a Montessori way, or what-have-you, I also found out that not everyone can teach 100% the Charlotte Mason way.
   
   Like me, for example.  I find her philosophy beautiful.  Strong.  And I agree with so very much of it.  I would have loved to have gone through one of her schools!
   
   But.
   
   Her methods work better for a school setting (like my Sunday school class), not my homeschool.  Especially when 7 children are vying for your attention.  I just couldn't do it.
   
   Again, almost had a nervous breakdown trying to do it for 4.  Add in 3 more, and I thought I was going to die.  Finding other ways of doing things, and ultimately, what can I do with all the kids together is what is helping us move on and find what is unique about our family.  This is what our Morning Basket is all about.  And our Adventures we go on every Friday and sometimes in the afternoons.  Being together as a family is what makes our homeschool - and our family - unique.
6. Even though schedules don't work for me, I must have bedtimes and evening routines in place.
   
   This staying up till 10, 11, 12:00 every night?  It kills me.  I need some down time.  I'm an introvert.  I need quiet and peace.  I need to get to bed on time myself!  I need time with my husband, without kids interrupting all the time.  So bedtimes it is.  Nothing wrong with others not having bedtimes, or having much later (or earlier) bedtimes than we have - but I gotta have 'em.
7. Clutter makes me anxious.
   
   I did not know this about myself until very recently.  While I've decluttered a lot in the past, it never registered in my brain what anxiety is.  Once I learned the definition of it and what it looks like - all because I now have 3 kids with varying degrees of anxiety - I figured out that it is what is causing me to have horrid mood swings and to lose my sanity.
   
   So we are going minimalist, as much as we can.  Haha....  This goes for emails, too.  And Facebook.  No more emails!  Aaaaahhhhh!  Ok, some is fine, especially from friends and family and adoption matters.  I have all coupon/sale type emails going straight to a coupon folder.  If I am going to a store, I try to remember to look there before I head out.  Blogs I mostly follow on Facebook rather than on emails, but I usually only have a couple I keep on my newsfeed.
   
   Don't ask me about minimizing the books.  :P
8. My kids are all different.
   
   They are all unique.  Angel, for example, is a seamstress and artist and bookworm.  Give her a worksheet, and she'll cry through the whole thing, but she'll do it.  Give Piglet a worksheet, and her hand will hurt because writing causes physical pain for her.  She just won't do it.  But she can draw better than some of the best artists!  Peanut?  She is a late bloomer on reading & writing.  Worksheets had to be dictated to me for a very long time.  And she is an actress.  Trouble is gifted.  His brain works in an entirely different way than mine.  I have no clue how he comes up with the things he does.  Tumbler has learning deficits and memory issues due to life in an orphanage.  Learning is very hard for her - but she has been thriving in confirmation class and Sunday school in more of a traditional setting.  Hmmmm....  Lego Dude also has some learning delays, but he is astounding at math.  He has come so, so far in math.  And he and Trouble are the only kids who math comes easily for.  The rest of them have to work HARD at it, with many tears.
   
   Point being?  They are all different!  Use what works for each of them.  Don't standardize your
   family.  Guilty as charged... 
   
   
9. I can't do everything.
   
   I can't teach everything to everyone all of the time and be everything to everyone all of the time.  I can't do Poetry Tea Time plus read-alouds plus individual math programs one-on-one plus narrations for every single book from every single child plus foreign language plus run a co-op plus teach Sunday school plus direct the Christmas program plus keep up with the house plus make healthy meals plus read my own books plus be a wife plus, plus, plus, plus.
   
   I just can't.
   
   And no one can.  We all choose what is most important to us, and we go with it.  And that's how it should be.  Time must be divided into priorities, just like your budget.  You will spend time on the things that are most important to you.  And if you look at what you're spending time on, and it doesn't add up to what you know you want to be priorities - well, then, you change what you're spending time on.  You get your priorities straight.  And you try again.
10. God's grace is sufficient for you.
    
    Yes, it is.  He will see you through.  He will be sure your kids are ready for the "real world" upon graduation.  And He loves them even more than you do.  He died for them.  He died for you.  And because of that, He's got your back.  Go to work, Mama.  And relax.  You've got this.  It's OK to learn, it's OK to grieve and regret - but don't dwell on it.  Learn from it, and move on, and just rely on Him to help you raise your kids to be the best they can be - who they were meant to be - designed by God Himself.  That's the most important in all of this, anyway.

Five Solas

Today for Poetry Tea Time, we studied hymns and their rhyming.  You know, AABB, ABABCC, AABCBCDD, and all that?  It was fun!  They really started to catch on (especially the oldest two).

After we studied 4 hymns and their rhyming patterns, we each took a stab at writing our own hymn (ie, rhyming pattern poem).  Here's mine!  Can you spot the pattern?

FIVE SOLAS

By grace alone

Christ did atone;

Our deeds can earn us nothing.

Through faith alone

Heav’n we now own;

Children of the heav’nly King.

In Christ alone

We find our hope;

We’re sure of our salvation.

Scripture alone,

Failsafe doctrine;

It is our sure foundation.

To God alone

All glory giv’n;

Alleluia and Amen!